the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
