i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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