dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
