I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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