i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
