I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You need Xanax blowdarts
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
