he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
