Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
