No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
