He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
