saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
