I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
