I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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