i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
