Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My balls are so social today.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize