Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
