I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
