he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
