Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sext me about skeletons
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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