it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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