I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
