just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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