I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
