is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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