We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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