I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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