Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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