I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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