I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
