got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
