Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
