there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
