Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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