No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You made out with two different species that night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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