We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What changed your mind?
Being sober
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
