i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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