You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
