Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
