I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
