I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
