she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
