I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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