i just had sex bonerless
do herpes really smell.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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