So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
