I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
third nipple confirmed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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