You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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