When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
