I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You can't special order awesome
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
