I think my fart just growled at me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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