I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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