I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
