my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
