and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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