"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
