What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
